dont break my heart kid

““Hey, you didn’t wish aunty?”

“Hey, you cannot speak so rudely to anyone. Can you show some kindness and respect when you talk to elders?”.

“We never spoke like this when we were young”, wonder the parents ..

Children can be loud and rude, demanding, improper throwing tantrums, shrieking if not listened to, because one of the basic things went unattended .. no one taught them how to behave. no one trained them in manners.

One comes across these reprimands constantly in our daily lives as we see unruly children misbehaving, not caring for the finer aspects in dealing with others. It could be a disrupted coffee morning or an embarrassing moment during family get togethers or a call from school for misbehavior.

When you see children who can be rude and ill-behaved, you begin to wonder what is going on at home and at school, and you also tend to wonder whether there is a family dysfunction or an emotional issue, but the fact is that all is well except that the child is insensitive to the needs of others. He doesn’t know that others have feelings too and can get hurt. children do grow up rude, mannerless, unguided and the parents fail to guide and correct them.

. Parenting has been a case study for many years …conscious parenting, helicopter parenting, regressive and progressive parenting etc., has left the parents of today highly confused, forgetting the basic fact that to bring up one’s kids is a wonderful instinct of rearing them, raising them and that all happens from the heart, without rummaging through leaves of a Benjamin Spock of yesteryears. Where to pull the lever and where to lax it is strictly? is a call from the self, for every parent wants the best for his child, forgetting the basic fact that each child is different.

Counsellors and experts have been saying that children need to be treated with as much respect as anyone else. In saying that something goes amiss. That fine tuning between giving respect and commanding respect becomes a hazy one and fails to catch our attention and gets overlooked. It is indeed very important to treat the little ones respectfully for their behavior is modelled on your behavior, how you conduct yourself and at the same time.

But it also becomes imperative not be at the beck and call of your children. Hundred percent availability and pandering to their big, small demands can create problems and leave a parent helpless and angry.

Parents are being summoned by school counsellors and the class teachers for episodes of bullying and indiscipline, disregard for authority amongst other things, frustrating them. This also leaves a child overwhelmed in shame and embarrassment, for peer pressure counts. It is disconcerting for both.

Respecting children is quite often misunderstood. It does not mean not correcting and supervising them, for how would they know what to do if you don’t tell them or advise and correct them. Instead, it means to respect a child’s privacy ...intellectual and emotional, allow them to express themselves, so that he doesn’t hide anything from you. Most importantly parents should never fear their children, not be scared of their whims and tantrums. There you have to be firm and very clear in stating that the concerned act of defiance or speech was not in order . With that one corrective measure you would then ensure effective control on your children .

Back in times social behavior of a child would rarely be an issue but over the years this is becoming a sore point in families and in schools. A firm approach always works without love coming in the way; modelling good manners by talking and explaining that social acceptance works; but the fear of disrespecting and being insensitive leaves the parents confused and also there is so much information, so many parenting do’s and don’ts issued by the academic institutions that a parent is left confused and the child becomes the ultimate winner in matters of non-adherence.

As the digital demon lurks and hovers over us,manners are out of the window,social ettiquettes are unknown .Cellphones prevail at large and the art of polite,meaningful and stimulating conversation days seem to be gone.Being rude hurtful and unkind is the order of the day.

Is there an alternative? can there be social skills or grooming classes for small children?

“Social skills are necessary, say most of the teachers and parents for they shape your interpersonal relationships, your likeability in your social circle and also at your workplaces.”

Manners are at the heart of effective parenting, that which every child needs to know. It is also important for them to understand and be taught that other people have feelings too, that there is a code to protect people from getting an adverse impression of you by exercising good behavior

And of course, one of the long-term consequences of being a rude child is being a rude adult —There are bullies on the playground and bullies in the workplace; It can be quite negative for your child if he grows up as a disliked adult. As a child grows up, he needs a strategy for getting along in life, at work and successfully handle his emotions, and have fruitful and successful engagements with people.

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